it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize