I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
