Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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