so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
