no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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