SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
