Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Randomize
