Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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