And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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