i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize