How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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