Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
