i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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