I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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