She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
