Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
