If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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