great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
