Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
