also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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