she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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