not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
