stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
