just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
