i just had sex bonerless
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
