I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
