i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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