I'm so fucking centered right now
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
