he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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