My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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