Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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