3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
