He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize
