Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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