this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
