I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
