How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
