i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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