just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
either way he was missing a nipple.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
