atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize