I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
