I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
