Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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