I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
