So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
