Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
