I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
