she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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