So drunk its hurt
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
God I need to hump something, right now.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
