Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
