this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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