It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Enjoy the penises
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
