ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
one might say we're banned from that church
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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