there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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