Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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