this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize