You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
